How To Keep Your Baby’s Gender a Secret

A pregnant woman holding booties

Keeping baby gender a secret? While pregnancy is an exciting time not only for you and your partner but also for your family, friends, and colleagues, you want to keep some things personal.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” This becomes a recurrent question once the pregnancy is visible. Even strangers are not left behind. Others go ahead and predict gender based on hearsay.

That said, the decision on whether to reveal or keep your baby’s gender a secret is a matter of choice. There are a couple of reasons why people keep gender a secret.

Not finding out gender until birth

Finding out baby gender but not telling anyone because…

I am limiting people’s opinions. There are a ton of old wife tales based on gender. 

They revolve around the pregnancy itself, the birth process and timing, and how the baby turns out. 

This information can be a lot to process, and one may prefer not to hear any of it.

I do not want to get gender-specific clothing and accessories. We all know the drill; pink is for girls, blue is for boys. 

But what if you prefer gender-neutral colors? Will the people close to you understand that?

Gender disappointment! Sometimes loved ones have a specific gender they hope the expecting parents to have. 

If the unborn baby’s gender is different, they could be disappointed, which could be emotionally damaging to the parents to be.

Additionally, ultrasound scans are not always correct. You could end up having the opposite gender.

Lastly, some couples just feel the need to keep it personal. They cherish that information and would like it to remain a secret.


Tips For Keeping Baby Gender A Secret

So, how exactly do you keep your baby’s gender a surprise? Not telling family baby gender is actually possible you are determined to do it. 

Be Straightforward

Tell them that you would like to keep it private. This will catch a lot of them by surprise. 

Some will get offended, others will call you selfish, and some will not understand your decision.

It is vital to keep in mind that you do not owe anyone an explanation. Besides, the pregnancy is yours.

However, stating the reasons why you have chosen to keep your baby’s gender a surprise might help. 

Your loved ones would be in a better position to understand and accept your decision.

Despite your efforts, some will not come to terms with it. They might keep asking or hold a grudge. Be firm and stick to your decision.

RELATED: Do Men Go To Baby Showers? Everything You Need To Know

A gender neutral party

Pick the Easier Route

Tell them that you have chosen not to find out the baby’s gender until birth. 

This approach will evoke less drama. They have no concrete proof that you know the gender, so they cannot hold it against you. 

Even when they suspect that you know, they have to take your word for it.

Nevertheless, some of them might fail to appreciate this decision. Others might try and convince you to find out. The predictions might also keep coming.

It is best to remind them that the end is close. It will only be a couple of weeks before you all find out. 

Also, make them perceive it as a surprise. You will all be excited to have the baby come and appreciate them more.

Get Gender-Neutral Clothing and Accessories

Like we mentioned earlier, the blues and pinks are standard. When baby shopping, stick to colors such as white, yellow, green, and gray. 

Going neutral with the colors will help you keep everything a secret. If you intend to have a baby shower, request your loved ones buy gender-neutral items.

For cloths, there shouldn’t be dresses or little boy suits. Restrict them to clothing items such as bodysuits, rompers, pants, and socks. Check out this cute unisex socks.

Your baby’s nursery should also have a gender-neutral theme.


Inform Your Doctor That You Would like to Keep Your Baby’s Gender a Secret

Picture this, you are walking in town with your sibling, and suddenly you bump into your doctor. 

Excitedly, he asks, “How are you and the little man doing?” The words “little man” said while looking at your protruding bump.

Your cover is blown. The secret is not a secret anymore. Your sibling is about to spread the word like bush fire. The blue gifts are about to flood in.

That scenario is why you should inform your doctor that you would like to keep your baby’s gender a secret. 

Communicate that the information is limited to you and your partner. Or maybe it’s just you who knows. 

Whatever the case, inform them and make it clear to whom the gender is known. This will ensure that you do not find yourself in that scenario.

You might say, “There is no way I could bump into the doctor anywhere.” It’s a small world. Don’t take your chances. You’ll be better safe than sorry.

RELATED: What is a Diaper and Wipes Party?

A pregnant woman holding booties

Don’t Find Out Either

This option only applies if you haven’t found out the gender yet. Having seen your options above, are you and your partner capable of keeping your baby’s gender a secret?

Are you easily manipulated into sharing information? Will your family’s disapproval cause you to budge? 

Do you want to not have to hide when buying those color-specific clothes?

Based on your answers to those questions, you might want to consider not knowing the gender either.

So, how do you ensure that you don’t find out? Here are some tips for not finding out gender of baby during ultrasound. 

  • Inform the Sonographer

Let them know that you intend to have the baby’s gender remain a secret. Tell them that they should not inform you even if they can tell from the scan.

  • Ask the Sonographer to Tell You to Look Away

During an ultrasound, the sonographer must scan all body parts to check the health of the baby.

As such, the reproductive organs also have to be examined. To keep the baby’s gender a secret, you would have to look away at that point.

  • Look Away At the Beginning of the Ultrasound

It is sometimes difficult to tell your baby’s position in the womb. Hence, when the ultrasound begins, you are unsure what the probe will be looking at. It could very well be the reproductive area.

Thus, to be safe, let the sonographer first look by themselves to determine the position.

  • Inform Your Doctors and Nurses

They have access to your ultrasound images. Ensure you raise the issue during your appointment. 

Make it clear that you do not want to know the baby’s gender. You could even attach a little note to your records. Do whatever it takes not to find out.


Keeping your baby’s gender a secret until birth is not easy. Nonetheless, it is doable. 

You need to be firm in your resolve. It is also crucial to set boundaries with your loved ones.

Expect to have some strained relationships with some people that are close to you. It’s okay though! You cannot please everyone.

Besides, once the baby is born, everyone will be excited. They will forget about the grudges. 

It won’t matter whether it’s a boy or a girl- just that they are an adorable baby whom they all love.

As an expecting parent, your ultimate goal should be to enjoy the pregnancy journey. Create a healthy atmosphere around you and protect your mental health. The nine months come and go very fast. Enjoy them!


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